Ellie Kildunne, one of England’s top rugby players, has shared a very personal story about her struggle with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, showing the difficulties she faced even at the best time of her career.
She explained that even when she was playing well and achieving success, she was still battling negative thoughts about her body. From the outside, everything looked perfect, but inside, she was going through a tough time.
Her story shows that even strong and successful athletes can face mental health challenges, and things are not always as they seem.
The World Cup winner, who played a key role in England’s success, admitted that behind the celebrations and achievements, she was dealing with serious struggles related to body image and mental health.
Kildunne explained that her issues began during the COVID-19 lockdown, a time when she was away from the regular team environment. Without the usual support from teammates and staff, she started to feel isolated, which affected both her mental state and her relationship with food.
She revealed that despite already being physically fit, she constantly felt the need to become “smaller,” leading to unhealthy habits and a negative self-image. Over time, this developed into body dysmorphia, where she could not see her body as it really was.
Struggles Behind the Success
Even as Kildunne was achieving success on the field, including helping England win the Rugby World Cup, her internal battle continued. She described how confusing it felt to be seen as a top athlete while personally feeling uncomfortable in her own body.
At one point, her relationship with food became so unhealthy that it started affecting her daily life. She admitted that she knew something was wrong but found it difficult to stop the cycle on her own.
A turning point came when a physiotherapist noticed the changes and checked in on her. That moment led to an emotional breakthrough, allowing Kildunne to open up and begin her journey toward recovery.
Recovery and Moving Forward
Today, Kildunne says she is in a much better place. She has worked hard to rebuild a healthy mindset and now feels more in control of her thoughts and habits.
She also wants to use her experience to help others. By speaking openly, she hopes to show that even professional athletes are not immune to mental health struggles, and that it’s okay to ask for help.
Kildunne emphasized that from the outside, everything in her life may have looked perfect, but the reality was very different. Her message is clear no one is perfect, and everyone faces their own challenges.
Understanding the Issue
TopicDetails
Condition Body Dysmorphic Disorder
Main Issue Negative and distorted body image
Cause (in this case) Isolation during lockdown, pressure in sport
Impact Unhealthy eating habits, low confidence
Recovery Support from professionals and open conversations
Kildunne’s story is a powerful reminder that mental health is just as important as physical performance. Her honesty is not only inspiring but also an important step in raising awareness about issues that many people face but rarely talk about.
